Thursday, November 24, 2011

Thanks(giving), but no thanks?


Vandag ‘n baie stil en geseënde Thanksgiving saam met Vennoot deurgebring. Niks se gerondhardlopery tussen troppe ander desperate kopers deur om voorrade aan te koop, massas kos op die tafel te kry en te wonder of die kalkoen na iets smaak nie.
 
Heel anders as die matriarg wat die onderstaande omsendbrief aan haar familie uitgestuur het. (Doen al van 2008 af die rondte as die waarheid, nadat ‘n gegriefde aangesprokene glo – en wie van hulle was nie! – die name verander en dit aan haar --moes ‘n haar gewees het -- plaaslike koerant gestuur het.)

Dis verseker sulke tye dat die weerwraak soeter is as die nagereg.

From: Marney

As you all know a fabulous Thanksgiving Dinner does not make itself. I need to ask each of you to help by bringing something to complete the meal. I truly appreciate your offers to assist with the meal preparation.

Now, while I do have quite a sense of humor and joke around all the time, I COULD NOT BE MORE SERIOUS when I am providing you with your Thanksgiving instructions and orders. I am very particular, so please perform your task EXACTLY as I have requested and read your portion very carefully. If I ask you to bring your offering in a container that has a lid, bring your offering in a container WITH A LID, NOT ALUMINUM FOIL! If I ask you to bring a serving spoon for your dish, BRING A SERVING SPOON, NOT A SOUP SPOON! And please do not forget anything.

All food that is to be cooked should already be prepared, bring it hot and ready to serve, warm or room temp. These are your ONLY THREE options. Anything meant to be served cold should, of course, already be cold.

HJB—Dinner wine

The Mike Byron Family
1. Turnips in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. Please do not fill the casserole all the way up to the top, it gets too messy. I know this may come as a bit of a surprise to you, but most of us hate turnips so don't feel like you a have to feed an army.
2. Two half gallons of ice cream, one must be VANILLA, I don't care what the other one is. No store brands please. I did see an ad this morning for Hagan Daz Peppermint Bark Ice Cream, yum!! (No pressure here, though).
3. Toppings for the ice cream.
4. A case of bottled water, NOT gallons, any brand is ok.

The Bob Byron Family
1. Green beans or asparagus (not both) in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. If you are making the green beans, please prepare FOUR pounds, if you are making asparagus please prepare FIVE pounds. It is up to you how you wish to prepare them, no soupy sauces, no cheese (you know how Mike is), a light sprinkling of toasted nuts, or pancetta, or some EVOO would be a nice way to jazz them up.
2. A case of beer of your choice (I have Coors Light and Corona) or a bottle of clos du bois chardonnay (you will have to let me know which you will bring prior to 11/22).

The Lisa Byron Chesterford Family
1. Lisa as a married woman you are now required to contribute at the adult level. You can bring hors d’oeuvres. A few helpful hints/suggestions: Keep it very light, and non-filling, NO COCKTAIL SAUCE, no beans of any kind. I think your best bet would be a platter of fresh veggies and dip. Not a huge platter, mind you (i.e., not the plastic platter from the supermarket).

The Michelle Bobble Family
1. Stuffing in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please make the stuffing sans meat.
2. 2.5-3 qts. of mashed squash in a casserole with a lid and serving spoon
3. Prosciutto pin wheel - please stick to the recipe, no need to bring a plate.
4. A pie knife

The June Davis Family
1. 15 lbs of mashed potatoes in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please do not use the over-size blue serving dish you used last year. Because you are making such a large batch you can do one of two things: put half the mash in a regulation size casserole with lid and put the other half in a plastic container and we can just replenish with that or use two regulation size casserole dishes with lids. Only one serving spoon is needed.
2. A bottle of clos du bois chardonnay

The Amy Misto Family (why do I even bother she will never read this)
1. A pumpkin pie in a pie dish (please use my silver palate recipe) no knife needed.
2. An apple pie in a pie dish, you can use your own recipe, no knife needed.

I am SO looking forward to the 25th – and trust you do too!!

Marney

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Ek voel bebloggerd

Vir weeeeke sôkkel ek om my kraaltjie te kan bewerk -- maar nee, Blogger voeter my rond van 'n kant af.

As hy (dit MOET 'n hy wees) wel, as hy nie weier om my possies te plaas nie, dan trek hy letterlik (no pun intended) sulke helder wit strepe deur die woorde wat alles totaal onleesbaar laat; of anders verskyn alles in kodeskrif -- wat ek reken, selfs die KGB sal sukkel om te ontsyfer. (Ek noem nou maar nie hierdie land se See-Ie-Aa by hulle se naam nie, want omdat hulle alles wat luglangs gestuur word kan opvang en ontsyfer [is bekend en bewys], sal ek dadelik deur hulle geteiken word, glo my. Indien ek nie al is nie.)

 Maar nou begin ek politiek praat, en daar is ek tot in der dagen sat van en sielsmoeg voor. Want moenie dink omdat ek dit nooit op my kraaltjie aanspreek, dat ek nie weet wat in die wêreld en agter die skerms aangaan nie. Glo my, ek weet, o ja ek wéét -- meer as wat die meeste gewone burgers hier, of daar of oral besef --- watter marionettespel aarbol-rond aangerig en gemanupuleer word.

En waarom almal van ons -- hierso, in Ouland en wêreldoor, soos rotte in 'n val maar net kan sit en wag en toekyk hoedat meeste van wat plaasvind, gemanipuleer en gereël en georganiseer word. Want die marionettemeesters het 'n doel -- vir eeue al en met 'n duiwelse aandrang -- om soos van ouds, onder leiding van geheime organisasies, weer hul eertydse Toring van Babel op te rig.


Daarom weet ek dat die veragtelike wet wat vandag in Ouland deurgevoer is, nie 'n haan sal laat kraai nie. In elk geval nie 'n haan wat sal probeer om die henne en die kuikentjies te beskerm nie. O, die regte geluide sal gemaak word, verseker. En waarskynlik sal internasionale koerante en tydskrifte met name soos die Tyd(s) en ook ander, hul ou storietjies daaroor opdis -- omdat die nuusmedia hier (wat ook onder totale beheer staan), altyd en tot op die einde die spel sal bly speel van Vrome Piet.

Máár: laat hulle hul duiwelse speletjies speel en skryf wat hulle wil en bou wat hulle kan -- my Here in die hemel slaap nie en op Sy tyd en Sy dag en datum wat Hy daarvoor bepaal het -- sal hy die speletjies wegvee voor Sy oë; sal Hy strepe deur hul geskrifte trek en sal Hy die maskers van hul gesigte afruk.  En dan sal die hele ouwêreldse tafereel soos 'n doek opgerol word en 'n groot stem uit die hemel weerklink: "Kyk, Ek maak alles nuut." (Openbaring 21:5)

Sjoe, kyk waar het hierdie kraaltjiekrisis my laat draai! Maar ja, ek het by hierdie geselskraaltjie en by my lewenskraaltjie beblogger geraak, en so sal dit wees tot op die aardse einde.

Wil ek my sigselwers bly sien as 'n rot in 'n val? Nee!!  Want in Christus is ek meer as 'n oorwinnaar!! Hy het rééds die oorlog gewen, ek moet maar net in die veldslag aanhou.

Dankie my Redder, ek veg nie VIR die oorwinning nie, maar VANUIT die oorwinning.

Maranata -- Kom Here Jesus, kom gou.